A blonde ......

A blonde is having troubles selling her car seeing as it has 340 000km on the clock. Her friend hears about this and calls her up saying that she could help her illegally. Anyway the blonde agrees and her friend tells her about a guy who will charge fifty bucks and will set her mileage back to 40 000km. A month goes by and the friend calls up the blonde, “So, have you sold the car yet?” She asks. “No”, replied the blonde, “I don’t need to, it only has 40 000km on the clock!”

Goverment jobs jokes

Those three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are. The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow". The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet". The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45"